…
Following an arduous 200 days of school commitments, Collins could only manage a brief visit home during the Christmas break. He often quipped, ‘‘I left home to take care of home. Home is comfortable, but now is not the time to be comfortable.’’
“Mom”, he began, his gaze fixed on a family photo on the wall. “Remember the Christmas of 2021? It was a season of pure joy. We decorated the tree together, and Goodness was there, laughing as we tangled ourselves in the string lights. Truthfully speaking, those were the moments I cherished the most.”
The room seemed to hold its breath as memories of that Christmas filled the air. The twinkling lights on the tree cast a warm, nostalgic glow, and the laughter from the past echoed in the present. The photograph captured a frozen moment of happiness, a snapshot of a time when love was a melody that played effortlessly to him.
Mom nodded, her eyes reflecting understanding as if she, too, could hear the distant echoes of laughter. “I remember, my dear. Friendship has a way of weaving itself into our memories, creating snapshots of happiness that stay with us even when everything changes. It's like a melody that lingers in the air, a song we carry in our hearts long after the music has faded.”
Collins sighed, his gaze still fixed on the photograph. “I thought that melody would play forever. I believed our friendship was the kind that transcends time and circumstances.”
His mother's hand found its way to his shoulder, offering a comforting presence. “Friendship, my dear, is both fragile and resilient. Like the ornaments on the Christmas tree, it can break, but it also has the power to transform into something new and beautiful.”
As they sat in the soft glow of the Christmas lights, Collins continued to share snippets of that magical season. “I remember the way she would surprise me with handwritten notes hidden among the branches of the tree. Each note held a promise, a whispered declaration of love & friendship that felt eternal.”
Mom smiled, a wistful twinkle in her eyes. “Those notes were like love letters to the soul, weren't they? An attestation to the depth of emotions shared in the simplest gestures."
Collins nodded, a mixture of sadness and gratitude in his expression. “I never thought those notes would become echoes of a lovely friendship that once was. Now, each one feels like a fragile piece of glass, beautiful yet capable of shattering with the slightest touch.”
He let out a weary sigh, exhaustion evident in his demeanour.
“Hey baby boy, Why the long face again? What's the matter with you? Are you still feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork? Or are you just trying to relax after several days of classes?” Mom asked.
“Mom, I'm okay.”
“You don't seem okay, and tomorrow is Christmas. Don't you have plans to hang out with your friends?”
“No, I don't”, Collins answered.
“Do you need some money? What's wrong, son, talk to me.”
“Before that, Demola told me to inform you that something came up, so he can't stay over for tomorrow's celebration.”
“No problem. Son, I need you to open up to me. The last time we talked, the advice I gave you helped, and you thanked me for it. So, what's bothering you?”
He gazed at the television for a few minutes, then let out a deep sigh before responding.
“Mom, although I don't have the strength now, there is this girl in school who wants us to be in a relationship. Recovering from my last failed relationship is something I'm still working on.”
“Are you supposed to have strength for it? You're supposed to be carried away by the wave of your studies.”
“It's not like I'm not focused. I guess you don't seem to understand where I'm coming from. Let me explain.”
His Mom took off her glasses sitting close to him on the sofa.
“Oya moun gbo e, laa ye mi.”
"Mom, in 2021, I had a special connection with Goodness. We had a deep and meaningful friendship based on shared values and mutual respect that led to an amazing relationship. But I made the mistake of assuming that our relationship would continue until we were married. In hindsight, I realize that was a naive assumption and it caused me to make some poor choices.”
“You mean Goodness?”
“Yes.”
“Thought you guys were just friends?”
“We were in a God-centered type of relationship”
“Eyin omoyiii…. Hmm. So, what happened between you guys?”
“Ma! She deceived me. The guy she claimed was just her school father, not a romantic interest, turned out to be the real guy! I was merely used to passing the time. I was fooled and then discarded.”
“I knew! So, you were dumped after being tricked? His Mom asked surprisingly.”
“I ended things as soon as I found out.”
“Why does this hurt you so much? Or did you invest too much emotionally?”
“I did! I invested heavily! I bought her things, took her to educational and memorable places, paid for exams, funded her tech training, bought books for her to gain knowledge, took her on remarkable dates and dinners... I can't list everything... Mom, I'm heartbroken.”
“Hmmm…”
“What upset me was the fact that even after we had resolved our differences and agreed to move forward as friends, old emotions resurfaced and complicated our relationship. We had forgiven each other and committed to improving, but it seems that the past was not as far behind us as we had hoped. In mid-2022, another significant issue arose, and it seemed like we were back to square one.”
“What happened?” His Mom asked.
“Despite the fact we had made a commitment to each other and our relationship was exclusive, she continued to post about another man on her Instagram, referring to him as her 'School Dad' and writing affectionate captions like 'I love you to date you tomorrow.' This made me feel jealous and insecure, and it was hard to understand why she would publicly express her feelings for another guy while we were in a relationship.”
“This is getting interesting. Please continue my son.”
“Long story short, I found both of them through my keen investigative skills, but…”
“But you let yourself be used a second time?”
“Something like that”, Collins retorted.
“Did you invest heavily this time or you applied the lessons you learned from the first experience?”
“I didn't invest much; I handled everything cleverly.”
“Collins, Is the AC broken?” His Mom asked, fanning herself with her hand.
Collins looked up from his handset, “I'm not sure, let me check.”
He got up and went over to the AC, grabbing the remote control from the table. He pressed the power button and turned to look at his mom.
“It's on now. Do you feel any cooler?”
Mom let out a sigh of relief, “Yes, thank you boy. I was starting to melt.”
Reflecting on the past, Collins's Mom continued.
“So, did that lead you to this moody state, or is there something else that's making you explode?”
“I was enjoying my time on Instagram until I came across her post, 'I'm having a great time in the US with my true love. We'd be together until the end of time.' The man in the photo was the same one she had previously referred to as her 'School Dad.' I couldn't help but feel hurt and betrayed by her actions.”
“You kids of nowadays”, his Mom rejoined.
“They moved to the States. I do not oppose their plans, nor do I blame them for pursuing their dreams, but I regret investing so much time and energy into something that didn't pan out. I could have used those resources to invest in myself. What really stung was when she sent me a picture of their engagement ring with the caption Sorry you lost, bro.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“I did lose. I'm not in the right state of mind at the moment. I read the message and didn't reply.”
“My dear, relationships can be complex, and they often teach us valuable lessons about trust and resilience. It's important to remember that while some connections may not endure, they can still serve as stepping stones toward personal growth and understanding.”
“I never thought I'd be facing such a challenging situation, Mom. I believed our love was genuine, but it seems like it was built on a shaky foundation”, Collins retorted.
“Relationships can indeed be unpredictable, my son. They require patience, understanding, and continuous effort. Remember the wisdom in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
“You're right, Mom. Love can really hurt. I never thought it could be so cruel and devastating.”
“Yes, my dear. But through these trials, we often discover our inner strength and resilience. Think of the biblical story of Ruth and Naomi, who faced immense loss and hardship but remained steadfast in their bond. Their unwavering commitment to each other brought them hope and redemption.”
“Their story is truly inspiring, Mom. I never realized the depth of the lessons embedded in these biblical narratives.”
“These stories are timeless for a reason, my son. They remind us that even in the darkest moments, God's light can shine through. As it says in Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
“Your wisdom is much appreciated, Mother. I shall endeavour to find inner peace through these teachings, and allow myself to emerge from this hardship a stronger and more resilient individual.”
“That's the spirit, my dear. Trust in God's love and guidance, and remember that you are never alone. He will guide you through this season of difficulty and lead you to a place of peace and restoration.”
“Always remember, relationships are indeed a journey filled with both joy and challenges. They serve as mirrors reflecting our vulnerabilities and strengths. While some relationships may not endure, they often pave the way for self-discovery and personal growth.”
“It's sometimes hard to comprehend, Mom. I put so much trust and love into that relationship, and yet it crumbled before my eyes.”
“Just because a relationship ends, it doesn't mean it's been a failure. Some relationships are meant to teach us things about ourselves and the world, and to help us become better versions of who we are. The real treasure is the wisdom we gain from these experiences, and we should hold onto it as we continue on our path.”
“I never imagined that love could bring such pain and heartache”, Collins responded.
“Love indeed comes with its share of challenges, my son. But it's vital to discern between love that uplifts and love that causes pain. Always remember the wisdom in 1 John 4:18, There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
“Those words are profound, Mom. I never realised the depth of meaning behind such verses.”
“The wisdom found in the Scriptures has the power to guide us through life's most challenging moments. Consider the story of David and Jonathan, whose friendship exemplified loyalty and selflessness. Their bond teaches us about the beauty of pure and unconditional love.”
“Their story is truly remarkable, Mom. I see now how crucial it is to cultivate genuine and nurturing relationships.”
“Yes, my dear. Trust in the strength of God's love and the wisdom of His word. As it says in Romans 8:38-39, For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
“I'll take these lessons to heart, and allow myself to emerge from this experience with a renewed sense of strength and growth.”
“That's the spirit, my dear. Lean on the guidance of the Scriptures, and trust that God's love will carry you through this season of hardship and relationship trust issues. As you move forward, I urge you to take this time to reflect and build up your emotional reserves. Work on yourself and your self-awareness, and address any shortcomings so that when you enter your next relationship, you can do so with confidence and emotional maturity.”
“Alright Mom, What would you like me to do for you right now? I now feel refilled and energetic.”
“Okayy, Go to the food store, count the yams in there for me, I want to know if I should get more.”
“Is that all?” Collins asked.
“Hmmm…For now. I'll call you when I need you.”
“Mom, don't wear yourself out okay? I'm obeying because you insisted I shouldn't worry.”
“No problem, have a splendid movie time. Love you!”
“Love you too Mom!”
Collins eyes glistening with unshed tears, sought solace in his mother's embrace. The conversation meandered through the complexities of human connections, the fragility of love, and the resilience found in the face of heartbreak.
As days turned into weeks, Collins immersed himself in self-reflection and growth. He started a journal, pouring his emotions onto its pages, each entry marking a step toward self-discovery. His Mom, observing the change, remarked, “You’re becoming stronger, my son. Healing is not a straight line. It’s okay to have setbacks as long as you keep moving forward.”
He discovered the seeds of personal growth. The journey from heartbreak to acceptance was a slow but transformative one.
In moments of solitude, Collins sought guidance not only from his mother's timeless wisdom but also from scriptures that spoke to the resilience of the human spirit. The verses became a source of strength, reminding him that trials were but stepping stones toward a greater understanding of oneself.
With time, Collins emerged from the cocoon of heartbreak, his wings adorned with the colours of resilience and acceptance. The city lights, once a reminder of lost love, now served as beacons of a newfound strength. His mother's words echoed in his heart, a testament to the enduring power of love's lessons.